Day 10: Commitment

I've already had things come up that have made it challenging to complete my daily commitment. For the most part it's been an issue of my schedule, not  one of being confronted by the practice of yoga. I know that there is always time in the day to practice. That is the nature of the commitment. Moving through any excuses I might have to keep a promise I made to myself. 

Day 9: Reflection

To see myself through the eyes of others, rather than the judgments within my own mind.

To look inward and see the beauty that resides there.

To look directly into my own eyes and know me.

To make friends with my fears and reside in the innermost chamber of my heart.

To reflect with love. 

Day 8: Acceptance

When I accept what is rather than resist, I can move through life with much more ease and clarity.

That isn't always easy. I get caught up in what should be. This way of thinking essentially means I am resisting what is. And when I resist what is, there's very little power to make meaningful change. For myself or anyone else.

One way I know that I am not accepting things for their current face value is that I judge them: "I shouldn't be so tired", "this student's behavior is confusing", "the rules for special education are too complex", "I can't do balancing poses".

Acceptance does not mean that things cannot change. It simply means I am seeing life for what it is right now. There's so much more power in that place. When I practice acceptance I release any illusion of control, paradoxically I gain the power to effect meaningful change. 

Day 7: Strength

“Strong women don’t play victim, don’t make themselves look pitiful, and they don’t point fingers. The stand and they deal.” ~ Mandy Hale

I like this.

That is all.

Day 6: Rhythm

For two days I have ended my work day and begun my evening with yoga. Regardless of when I practice yoga, it feels good to be taking the time out of my day to actually focus on me for awhile. It also provides a rhythm to the day that is useful, by marking the end of the workday and the beginning of the evening. For the past year I have had so much work-related work to do that I never felt that I could take the time to do anything for myself and the end result was that in the evening I either never stopped working or, alternatively, I avoided doing work-related work or anything that might need to get done around the house. The mental fatigue of this rhythm was utterly draining.

I know that taking the time for myself needs to happen whether I have ridiculous amounts of work to do or not. For whatever reason [topics for another blog altogether], I never felt that I could justify it.

Until now.

It's good to have a new rhythm.

Day 5: Joy

After 5 days off, it was back-to-work today. I realized how much joy my job brings me and how fortunate I am to be a part of an incredible and dedicated staff. I received several hugs today from students -- their joy was contagious. I carried that with me throughout the day. Better than caffeine or chocolate (in which I tend to over-indulge....) hugs combat stress and remind me of the reason I work in a school ~ the students.

They are unabashed in their enthusiasm and joy. As adults we have so much to learn from them. We constantly censor ourselves. So often our to-do lists and stress have us so wound up that we can't focus on what really matters.

People.

Relationships.

That is where we find joy.

Practicing yoga opens my heart and focuses my mind on what is important.

People.

And relationships.

And hugs.

Day 4: Surrender

Saw a great quote by Pema Chodron on Facebook today. She is an amazing spiritual teacher. Essentially the quote states that whatever we resist will persist. This isn't the first time I have heard this quote and I have found it to be very true. Generally the things that I don't want to face, the things I ignore become bigger problems over time. Sometimes those things are too difficult to face given the space I am at that particular time in my life.

And sometimes I don't even know that there is anything I am resisting.

In yoga,  I have been working on surrendering into the pose and allowing whatever emotions arise. And then coming back to my breath. Without forcing the pose or the emotions.

It's one of the reasons I have made this commitment to myself. To practice every day for a full year. To surrender to the things I am resisting.

Day 3: Quiet

One of the most challenging aspects of my practice is quieting my mind. I will suddenly realize that I am running through a grocery list in my head in the midst of holding warrior pose. Or thinking of all the chores that need accomplishing around the house in downward facing dog.

It's interesting to think that we can turn off the TV or the radio, but we can't turn off our minds. They are constantly streaming~random thoughts, lists, ideas, assessments, fantasies. How useful it would be to be able to turn off all that chatter. And just be.

Useful and confronting.

I have read that during meditation it is helpful to think of our thoughts as clouds drifting across the consciousness. When we notice these thoughts we are to touch them lightly, as a feather touching a bubble and let them pass by without judgment or attachment. And then bring our focus back to the breath. The ocean-like movement of our breath becomes a focal point, rather than the thoughts.

I "touch" my thoughts lightly and return to my breath about a bazillion times during a single practice. Hoping someday to lower that to a million. ;-)

Day 2: Peace

My practice is based in a series of stretches and sun salutations. I like the simplicity of it. I don't have to think~I know what comes next. I can listen to my muscles and creaking bones.

Always there but mostly ignored~the quiet thumping of my heart mingled with the movement of my breath. I am alive.

I am at peace.

Day One: Thankfulness and Gratitude

I read an interesting blog post this morning about the difference between thankfulness and gratitude. Cultivating gratitude will be my primary focus over the course of the next 365 days. I will be practicing yoga to bring that awareness daily toward gratitude and thankfulness, for all that I have--for my family, my children, my friends, my health, my life and this journey.

I have spent too much energy, thought and time on worry and loss. It has not changed the circumstances of my life. Lamenting what should have been. Mourning what has passed. I'm not going to resist those feelings~they are a normal part of the grieving process~but I am going to keep them in check.

It has been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. It's time for a new tactic--getting out of my head and getting on my mat.